Bloody Nose Job
by NCISBALTOFAN
Summary: ONESHOT. Alfred has sprained his ankle and is need of the assistance of Arthur, too bad he needs his "assistance" of a certain kind at a world meeting under the table when all Arthur wanted to do was retreive his pen...but in all honesty Arthur REALLY didn't count on getting a "nose job" of sorts.


**I don't know what I'm doing writing this…I don't have a title in mind so steady as she goes.**

ONESHOT

Arthur Kirkland grumbled under his breath. It was bad enough that he was late for the meeting, but it was all Alfred F. Jones's fault. Arthur had spent the night at the American's house because Alfred had sprained his ankle the past week while running along and playing football with the other Allies.

"_Alfred I told you that football was dangerous," _Arthur had said. "_Why don't you ever bloody listen to me?"_

_ "Because dude," _Alfred had smirked and winced in pain at the same time as Arthur had carried him to the car. "_Footballs fun, and well I love the way you fawn over me when I'm hurt."_

Then he had kissed him…

Arthur hated that their relationship had to be kept a secret, but he really didn't need the entire world knowing that the once great United Kingdom was gay, not that Arthur really cared what people thought of him of course.

Arthur sighed as he held the door open for Alfred, who limped in on crutches and took his seat as carefully as he could; all the other nations were debating various topics as Arthur took his seat next to Francis.

"Ohonhon," Francis laughed and winked at Arthur. "So Angleterre you and Amerique slept in ze same house together non?"

"Oh piss off you sodding pervert!" Arthur growled.

Arthur rolled his eyes and continued to listen the other's speeches before long it was Alfred's turn. Alfred shifted his papers as Yao finished up his speech. Arthur who was currently twirling his pen in his hand listened uninterested. He went to twirl it one more time before it went flying under the table and at the feet of none other than Alfred. Arthur groaned, looked around twice to make sure no one was watching him and ducked under the table.

The first thing Arthur noticed was that the floors certainly needing cleaning under the long table that stretched half the room that he made his way underneath towards his pen. Alfred's feet shifted for only a moment before the Brit realized that his lover was staring down at him.

"Yo Artie," Alfred whispered, clearly unnoticed by the other countries. "What are you doing down there?"

"Retrieving my pen you idiot," Arthur growled and pointed to the object. "Whot does it look like?"

"Listen… er… Artie," Alfred's puppy dog face was almost irresistible, but his eyes also held a look of desperation. "Can you do me a TREMENDOUS favor…?"

"Whotever it is can't it wait?" Arthur asked.

"Nuh uh," Alfred shook his head slightly. "I've got a slight uh…problem downstairs…"

"Git," Arthur silently exclaimed. "I'm not giving you a bloody blowjob in the middle of a meeting?!"

"C'mon Artie pretty please," Alfred begged. "I'll be your best friend?"

"Now why on Earth would I want that," Arthur hissed. "We're already bloody lovers!"

"Artie…" Alfred pleaded and begged.

"OH alright fine!" Arthur finally gave in and looked both ways before crawling as close as he could to Alfred's lap, unzipping Alfred's pants and pulling out his cock through his zipper hole.

"You'd better be quick to finish," Arthur growled. "Because I've got to get back to my bloody chair…"

"Don't worry," Alfred shuddered a little but tried to conceal it. "I haven't done anything all week…it'll be fast."

Alfred smiled before Arthur rolled his eyes and begun to suck slowly.

"America," Ludwig said. "Are you prepared yet?"

"Er," Alfred squeaked a little as Arthur sucked a little harder. "Y-ES!"

"Are you alright Amerique?" Francis asked cocking his eyebrow.

"Y-yeah," Alfred said. "I'm ok I just er…ghost pain yah know…in my uh foot…"

Alfred quickly cleared his throat and begun his speech. Arthur worked his magic under the table, although his legs were starting to fall asleep from the awkward position that Alfred gave him to go down on him.

Arthur growled as Alfred's speech went on, he had tried sucking harder that had only made Alfred go crazy for a few seconds, he tried stroking too, but eventually gave up because he was at an awkward angle.

"And s-so," Alfred cleared his throat as he rapidly felt his climax coming sooner than he had hoped. "I b-believe if we ask the army…we can create this s-superhero and….GAH!"

Alfred's climax had been reached and not a moment too soon in Arthur's opinion as his legs were had fallen asleep, but the only thing Arthur hadn't counted on…was Alfred bucking his knee up. Arthur's face was caught right on top of Alfred's knee as one swift motion caught his nose and he instantly heard a crack.

"Bloody hell!" Arthur said as he held his nose, which upon further inspection was now bleeding.

Arthur growled as he held his nose and crawled his way out from underneath the table, not even bothering to zip up the American and grabbing his pen along the way.

When he reappeared in his seat, Arthur was greeted by all the confused faces of the rest of the nations, he held his nose and growled.

"I uh," Arthur stammered. "I dropped my pen…"

"But what about your nose…?" Francis asked.

"I DROPPED MY PEN," Arthur replied defensively. "And ran into the table looking for it!"

He scowled at the Frenchmen and looked around before taking his seat and still holding his bleeding nose.

"Vell zen," Ludwig stated. "Zat is all ze speeches for today so everyone may leave now."

The other nations gathered their papers and belongings before walking over to the doors to exit. Arthur, still holding his nose, walked over to Alfred to assist him in getting up.

"Thanks babe," Alfred whispered and zipped himself up. "And uh…sorry about yer nose and all…"

"That is the last time I do this…" Arthur scowled.

"What," Alfred asked with a laugh as he got up from his seat on his crutches. "Drop your pen?"

"No," Arthur growled under his breath. "The last time I give you a bloody blowjob under the table…and all I got in return was a bloody nose job!"

All Alfred could do….was laugh.

**Read and Review**

**I am feeling in a crackish mood tonight so here yah go I hope you enjoy.**


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